Me literally jotting down notes for this post - Place: Pig's Bay
Out of nowhere:
Leo: do you want to climb mountains? I can connect you with the best!
Me: (speech bubble): how does this guy know what I’ve been thinking
Me: YES plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I’m a crybaby, only not what you think. Solitude, nature, the smell of the very earth… move me to tears. The smile on a hardship-beaten face, our most vulnerable moments (so much beauty in that), a fine book (“Never have I wept such delicious tears,” a fan of Rousseau wrote) places of worship, a kickass deadlift, a good documentary (watch a Cheetah charge at full speed and tell me that does not give you gossebumps), God’s love/ mercy, music, the universe with its majesty and intricate design, muscles at work … there is no shortage of things that melt my heart and wet my eyes.
What does it mean to be deeply moved by a book?
Being deeply moved by people’s life experiences is no foreign concept to me, reading memoirs has been a source of inspiration, elation, and humination (add this new word to your vocab)
Not even halfway through, something about this book brought me to tears. It may not be the best book ever, and it may even turn out to be a bummer, but something about this dude’s journey spoke to me in a language I understood
Setting:
A heavy-ass leg day, squats in full force.
Mr. D walks by, hi five’s me and strikes up a conversation (such interruptions are welcome, our talks are always interesting), just the other day he taught me a method – MMA style – to numb/ kill sensation in my shins, boy it was painful. Why would we even wanna do that you ask? a mental disease.
Mr. D: so why don’t you just go off-grid?
Lana: (I stare at his face, smiling) Man I would love nothing more, there was a time in my life I was so obsessed with the idea!
Mr. D: nothing to it, I have been living off-grid for 5 years
Me (speech bubble) now THAT'S is interesting … I sit on the bench beside him wanting to hear more …. we now look like two kids in a school bus!
Mr. D: I have built my house myself, it took 6 grueling months, but I cannot be happier.
He shows me photos and videos …… a dark, wooden dream home, in the middle of a lush forest, wall-to-wall windows, well built, beautifully designed, and tasteful, but without an iota of excess or extravagance.
Mr. D: or better, do what I intend to do when I retire. Buy a camper van, and live wherever, however!
RED (my nickname by the way): THAT is the plan
Mr D: go on then, check prices, even if you can’t afford it (he did not actually say that, I was thinking it) you won’t lose a thing.
Two days later, I fill him in with the results of my search …
Mr. D: timing Lana!
RED: - I laugh - I am the queen of bad timing.
Undeterred and unaffected, he smiles
Mr. D: What I always do is I just sit and wait for things to happen, to come to me, they always do …. BUT at the right time!
You know what Mr. D, I believe you …. I am kinda through/ bored with the bad timing thing, I wanna learn patience, to just sit (after doing my part of course) and wait for things to come, and if they don’t ... better ones will!
All that glitters is not gold
“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes, a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
See, Interesting people don’t usually look interesting “to our modern, shallow, eyes”….. they definitely don’t walk around with a sense of self-importance or entitlement. The majority of those folks are shielded from the public eye, busy livin’, immersed in the real world, content with normalcy.
But the most striking fact about such individuals is they don’t see themselves as special, in their eyes, they are merely being themselves, existing, unaware of the fact that “themselves” is pretty amazing!
I find peace!
I will conclude with this: introduced by the lovely, handsome Brett (more about this dude later). Trained in the very science. Brett offered to dig out/analyze my profile. A lengthy, very enriching conversation ensues (I will just mention this tiny part). I was both startled and affirmed. I always felt this in the heart of my heart, I knew it was who I am and how I wanted to live, yet I was conflicted, what about “achievement” I would say to myself, I got all those talents man, what if I was just bailing out, what if I was merely choosing the easy path?
Lana’s Profile keys:
Your Purpose - what deeply fulfills you
Whatever you do in life, whether it is recognized by millions or known to only a few, the purpose of your life does not lie in the field of achievement. Of all people, you have the capacity to achieve great things, but for you, that is of no concern. What matters for you is simply to lose yourself in the activity itself. The joy of movement is your reason for living — to feel life flowing through you and to be actively engaged in an activity of your own choosing without thought or concern for the future. Most people think of purpose in terms of attainment, but for you, purpose lies in physical movement, in the beauty of muscle and sinew, breath, and bone. Your purpose lies hidden in these moments which are occurring all the time.
To be continued...