A while ago a shaman of sorts who comes from a lineage of healers, sat beside me, and told me exactly three things:
The dude was as high as a kite, just sayin'
1- You are now at your peak feminine energy (Amen to that)
2- You are going to be the boss (never mind this .. just never mind)
3- You are actually HAPPY .. like really really happy, and I will tell you why? You stopped expecting from life (Dude you rock!)
Well today – when this blog was compiled - as I started on one of my “It’s time to get lost” expeditions I felt it more than ever. Especially the peak feminine energy thing, confidence rocks y’all!
Getting lost, wandering aimlessly, with no compass. I do what I like to call ferry hopping, as in literally getting on and off ferries, not knowing where I’m going, starting at one point and ending at another. The experience leaves me squeaky clean and a little bit too happy for the world.
What is it about life that is so intoxicating; risk so addictive and the unknown terribly enamouring? Why do things that scare the hell out of some give fuel to others?
The human brain and psyche …. a thing of wonder, and all of you AI lads try as you may will never/ couldn’t ever come close to the human brain with its intricacies, complexity and sublime beauty.
Staring at the gushing اسطنبول waters, though I did not think I would whelp - nothing wrong with crying your heart out - I thought at least there would be a moment of silence … nada! Astounded even to me myself and i, it was only peace …. Delicious, blissful peace!
It didn't take long to align myself with the decision to leave Istanbul, a switch off/ switch on kinda thing, but today I woke up giddy with excitement …. That two weeks now seem such a long waste of life and potential existing where I no longer (for now) belong – hence my marvelling at the human brain and psyche – what unravelled in this whole affair was a level of detachment and emotional maturity that shocked me. I am seeing/enjoying/loving every bit of what I have always loved but from afar. And as it’s always the case with nomads, I will be shedding my winter skin, droppin' it like it's hot - except for ... nah that’s my secret – and like the wind running towards what’s next.
Drop it like it's hot - The poet Snoop Dog
Yesterday I had an intriguingly deep conversation – a rare occurrence since I moved to Istanbul – with a fellow writer/ author and all over solid woman, whose book I am also currently reading. There is this uniqueness to first conversations, so much to say, yet so little time to say it.
Of the gazillion subjects we tallied around was writing as a craft/ calling/ lifestyle. She was beautifully articulating the pains of writing a new book. It is taking too much time, the struggle for some head space, the chaotic life in a big crowded city, the need to put food on the table …etc and she was asking me, how come writing is not coming easy, why aren’t words just flowing as they should, what is she doing wrong??
Emily Dickinson once said,
“If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.”
Not quoting David Whyte, one of my favourite poets, but retelling something I heard him say: To write is to write the parts of ourselves that we don’t yet know.
In a sense, writing comes from deep, hidden, and sometimes even scary places. We don’t write what we know; we write what we don’t know. And this folks is where psychology goes, hey SUP? … the deeper your writing goes, the harder it gets. And my lady author people is writing about her journey into self-discovery.
Some of the books i read/ recommend on writing
But forget all those posh authors, I am gonna tell ya how I know it’s true: because for some time now – especially with this blog – I have not been writing. By no means I am diminishing my efforts or what have you, it is just that what I currently write is stuff on top of my head, literally I sit, it flows, and I write. And I ENJOY IT y’all. Little consideration takes place and very little editing. But does it represent the fruits of the brilliant head I have over my shoulders? Come on, of course not!
Do I wanna/ am I gonna write again?
Now the first question you should be asking is: did this chick ever pass grammar class?
I did, and HELL absolutely yes to the first question. And this is exactly why I am so intrigued and looking forward to what I am now considering a new chapter of this glorious wonderful life. Let's see how travel, being close to nature, simple everything, plenty of time and head space would figure in my writing and life as a whole.
I leave you with peace … don’t forget to say no to drugs … do chocolate instead, they are kinda the same thing