Vet: What did you call “her”?
Moi: Barut[1]. I pronounce with the pride of a mom who’s just seen her son win the noble prize for medicine.
Fed up with my useless Türkçe “she’s way cuter than Barut”.
What do you mean "she"?
Now affirmed I’m stupid too “it’s a female pup”.
Contemplative silence ….
Adding “extremely sexist” to her list, the vet looks at the lil black fur ball with sympathy, then stares at me accusingly
Feeling trapped, as if on trial for female infanticide, i say nothing but roll my eyes .... kinda
Ateş! blurts the vet’s assistance (I'm guessing in an attempt to save the day)
I like the sound of that, what does it mean?
(FIRE)
Hell yeah I say. My big scary alpha male pup is now a badass alpha boss female called FIRE (i know, I know I have an alpha disorder syndrome)
Ateş …. Welcome to my life, I will love you … take care of you, and never abandon you. Who needs a big scary protective male beast when one can have …... an ever-folding DISASTER!
Fast forward two months:
- Can you at least at least leave me ONE friggin pair of shoes? what am I gonna wear damn it!
- What????? how the hell did you chew the brush, I mean it’s prickly, it should hurt!
- I walk you 5 times a day, notwithstanding the potty walks, can you at least feel sorry for my 45 (soon to be 46) soul and pee/poop outside for a change! (I’m pretty sure the adjacent grocery store owner thinks I munch on kitchen roll, I buy a 6-pack every few days)
- I have an idea: why don’t you chew on your “own toys” instead of the furniture and my hands. You might actually enjoy it.
- Stop eating from the trash can already.
- STOP PULLING! you're gonna trip me off the stairs.
- You are not a vacuum cleaner lady, stop picking up everything on the street.
- Trying to open her jaws and failing “for God’s sake that’s a piece of glass, spit it out” … she swallows fast (she was ok)
- Stop chasing/scaring those poor cats!
- Don’t drink from the gutter!
- You stink! Did you roll in poo again?
- OMG did you just bite off a chunk of the wall!
And this is how 24 years of training/ taming and living happily ever after with dogs went down the drain. I’m learning anew, discovering anew, and loving anew.
Ateş … I LOVE YOU WITH EVERY BIT OF MY HEART!
[1] From Ottoman Turkish باروت (bârut), from Persian باروت (bârut). It means Gunpowder