Friendship … elusive to some, can’t – live –without – you- for most, and “say what” for others, personally I am a non-believer, but then not believing in a higher power/ God … does not negate the fact ... and having zero, to none faith in friendships and relationships, in general, does not negate their existence … basically it’s all in the eye of the beholder
Here is a cliché’ for ya, if you are successful, rich, special, gifted for whatever reason (it may be a solid personality and energy people like to suck), …etc, finding true friends who are in it for you rather than for them is very very rare, and if you disagree, and you are THAT person, just wait till you lose your leverage or calamity hit and watch them flee like a flock of sheep.
“A gravity Problem is a set of conditions or circumstances that you can do nothing to change. They are a fact of life. If it's not an actionable problem, you'll lose steam trying to solve it”
Very early on I learned that the sooner you accept life’s “gravity problems” the happier and saner you are. You start picking your fights, where you expend your energy and direct your anger (you don’t eradicate drama, you just utilize it better), you’ll have realistic expectations, and make better decisions, but mostly be able to stand up soon after you trip or fall down (another gravity problem, we will all fall down). Picture someone crying out day in – day out “Why the hell gravity” and you’ll totally get me.
Having said that, gravity problems are not equal for everyone, for example, you may not have anything grand to offer people other than good’ol friendship (what matters right?) so if they hung there you’d better believe your buds are there for the right reasons. Hence, your gravity problem may be something else, it might be low motivation, lovin’ your comfort zone, whatever it was, accept it, move on and let your life take the shape of you, rather than what you can never become.
Back to me (me me me me, but this is my blog yo), One of my seriously serious gravity problems is that I attract people, lots of them (not talking about romantic, although fully packed). People like to be around me, involve me in their lives and try to be part of mine – never succeed for the same reason I am writing this blog, besides me lovin and guarding my privacy like my life depends on it– . They feed off my energy, my life experience and knowledge …etc this may come a bit arrogant, but hey a fact is a fact. And even if people leech on to me with good intentions, dig deep and it’ll be more about them. I know that, ok with it, and have learned not to expect people to be other than who they really are. So I enjoy the moment, my eyes are open and when things go haywire I don’t even flinch, like literally, I just keep walking as if nothing happened.
Therefore, every time I face a real problem, I watch – just like a movie, minus the popcorn – people flee/ hide/ disappear. The interesting part is that it does not bother or surprise me, but what is the most worrying of all is that I NEVER MISS THOSE PEOPLE, they don’t leave a dent in my life or cause a lack (trust me I am no psychopath, it just shows how valuable people really are sometimes). I mean logically it should, not having your “friends” around, not doing things together, leave a void right? Wrong, Confirming time and time again that those people really fill nothing and add nothing other than a good time, I can manage that quite well, thank you very much.
In my last ordeal with the house, literally 99% of my friends – except for the lady who took Atesh until I figure things out, but then she was not technically a friend and she never benefitted from me one iota - took cover and distanced themselves. But because they had very little to bring to my table, their absence till the writing of this blog has gone unnoticed. I did not check on them, I did not react. Life is flowing as usual, but with a bit more energy and a head as clear as ever to plan and contemplate my life, because you better believe it, people with their constant bitching and drama do drain you – and I am talking about people who have EVERYTHING – so I merely turn the page, a new chapter is about to unfold, and I am happier, fewer things to worry about.
Last and the most amusing of all is that on a personal level, I did not see that whatever took place in my life lately is a catastrophe or something I will have to even cry about, it is just another problem. And honestly, i would not waste some valuable potentially happy, and fun time talking about my landlord and how much money I lost, in my head it was just another mishap that I need to figure out, I don’t contemplate what happened or why, I don’t think about it, it is done with, all of which makes their fleeing the scene in retrospect unnecessary. Besides, a scenario where I ask for help, crash at someone’s couch, or cry on someone’s shoulder is just not my MO.
So, if this is you, a word of caution: it is easy to live life on the defense, have a bad opinion of people, or play the victim till the cow gets home. I am here to tell ya, this is not a way to live, being strong, confident, and resilient is about “seeing”, yet being un-deterred, the destination is clear, the challenges are clear, you walk the path, you dream, you live, you love and you do it in the most authentic way, no one steals your thunder or extinguishes your fire.
Peace!