I'm kinda obsessed with this guy (Cbum) right now, he is a vegetarian
A random hooman: so what do you vegans eat, grass?
Me: Kind of.
Some of the "Grass" i eat on regular basis ;)
I landed in planet Turkey mid January, a pitiless winter it was. During which I donned the same puffer jacket, woolen hat, and 2 sweaters I carried back from Jordanie. So besides a “FASHION ICON” people identified me as that foreign writer chick who is – enter sad emoji here – vegan. I don’t think anyone could have assumed, ever, that under those piles of clothing were some badass muscles ready to burst out.
Sun’s out …. GunZ out!
Random hooman: HOOOOWWWWWWWWW, widdawt meet? (without meat)
Y’all vegan folks should come here, no one is gonna ask you “where you get your protein from”
Because I didn’t think anyone was actually interested in “knowing”, I’d just act puzzled (like their info is so stone age) and say “Mercimek ve Nohut”[1] and that seemed to nip it in the bud.
Sorry Nimai[2] (check him out he’s a hottie) I'm all for your vegan fitness revolution, but people here, um how can I say it without sounding rude, do not actually give a damn about fitness. It’s a poke-easy, smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish, eat Yumurta[3] and Peynir[4] till you drop kinda vibe.
Muscle mayhem
When normal folks plan a holiday they Google stuff like best burgers in town, top things to do, where to get fake Louis Vuitton bags …etc. NOT me, for the first thing I do is look for gyms I can deadlift heavy in. Friends always ask me: but aren’t you on vacation? Dude, THIS IS how we do vacation. If you’ve ever tried gym hopping, meeting lifters from all over the world, exchanging injury stories, muscle annihilation tips, and competing on who can worst crawl out of the gym, you’d understand!
Alas, I googled and googled and googled but no crossfit boxes, or proper gyms – or any gyms - were to be found in Cihangir. So I did what every chick in my situation would do, ask the first badass looking tattooed dude you see on the street, or in my situation café’.
Yours truly: do you know if there are gyms in the area?
Tatooed & Hot: ahhhhhhhhhh
Me, Myself & I : you know “spor”, a place I can lift weights (a bicep curl imitation)
Tatooed & dimpled: there pilates in dis street. also yoga (pointing finger)
Me losing interest: Do you go to the gym?
Tatooed & thick lashed: no
Me: So you don’t bench?
Tatooed & bearded: ne?
(How much ya bench is one way I measure up potential suitors)
And this is how I stopped training for 4 full months (searching for gyms in other areas wasn’t an option at the time). I also walked A LOT, ya know the kind of cardio bodybuilders and lifters since Milo the Greek have been warning up against, the one that will eat through your muscles like a locust? that was exactly it. And because I am – even at my worst - a healthy vegan, I lost a humungous amount of weight and with that so much hard earned muscle mass. At the end I kinda looked like a “toned” model.
Building up from scratch (or almost)
The story of me finding an ok gym is tedious and boring and doesn’t involve anyone remotely good looking so I’ll skip it. I opted not to join a CrossFit box because of the dreaded commuting and the fact that boxes open only a few hours throughout the day. So I joined a gym in a mall in Istiklal street. It was a new experience for me to walk quite a bit (uphill) to and fro a gym (try that after leg day) but I actually prefer it that way, it’s the perfect way to warm up, and then cool down. Besides, I love walking in this glorious city and I’m my happiest after training, so you get the picture. Total euphoria.
My come-back (I feel like batman) story should be something like: I started slowly but surely, the road of the thousand miles starts with a step, I left my ego at the door and opted for very light weights, you get the picture. Hell no, complete dominance! I hit the weight room hard (but smart, I’m a pro remember) I crushed every single workout, I milked every rep, and I had a total BLAST. I also ate like a monster (I’m bulking dude). One month was all it took and I was back at the game (but not where i want to be of course). The only thing I DIDN’T do was max out in the big lifts, I worked at 60% of my previous numbers, because I didn’t wanna rip or crush anything (back in the day I ripped my knee tendon, calf muscle, hamstring, ribs, and broke an arm).
Now I’m ready to plan my next attack, I got a goal in mind and I have exactly 67 days to achieve it. And as the old saying goes:
I’m not just ready, I was born ready!
More about that later …..